While there are many benefits of working from home, I’ve also noticed a common pattern with my clients since the mass shift to remote work - a greater struggle to unplug at the end of the day, and with time, higher levels of exhaustion and in some, burnout.
Why? In my experience, it isn’t just in my clients who feel compelled to work all the time through internal drive or to comply with the pressures of a demanding work culture. It’s also with those who try to put work away at the end of the day. In working with multiple clients, I noticed a pattern and in it a shared trait - even when they stopped working, they kept thinking about work.
Pre-Pandemic, most folks had a commute. Whether it was 10 minutes or 90+, a walk, a bike ride, a drive or time spent on trains, buses, boats, the act of getting ready to depart, traveling, and walking in the door did more than just transport folks from home to work, and work to home. The journey itself became a signal to their bodies and brains to transition out of work. Without the journey, many of my clients struggled to mentally disengage.
How to recreate the benefits of a commute while working from home?
Many of my clients have found it helpful to create an end of day ritual that helps them mentally shift out of work. It facilitates rest as well as help prepare them for caretaking roles that await many at home, enabling them to be more present and so less stressed.
I think of it a bit like the routines my kids engage in before bed. The act of preparing to go to bed - put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a book, lights out, listen to music - helps to signal to their bodies to prepare to rest so that when they’re in bed, they’re calmer and more ready to fall sleep. My bedtime ritual, because it is repetitive, does the same for me. It’s an unconscious signal to my systems to begin to wind down for the night.
What does a ritual look like?
There is no right way to design an end of work ritual. It can be as short as five minutes. The most important thing is to make it consistent.
In my experience, an impactful end of day ritual incorporates the following three steps:
1. Brain Dump Take a minute to down any uncompleted tasks that you don’t want to forget - take these out of your brain and capture them in your favorite system (paper, app, voice note, etc) so that you know they have been recorded and you can return to them.
2. Power Down and Close Out Close your laptop or power down your desktop. Physically put the tools of work out of sight. If you’re lucky enough to have a designated office, close the door. If you work in another living space, put your tools away in a designated place that’s out of sight.
3. A transition ritual that works for YOU If stepping outside your office puts you directly into a different role, such as parenting, your ritual may need to be one you can do from your office. Some five minute rituals you can do without leaving your chair:
Cup of tea – brew fresh or pour it from a thermos. Hold it, feeling the warmth in your hands and take a few deep breaths, all the way to your belly. Consider your day in review. Note of what went well and learnings you wish to carry forward. Allow yourself to create notes of anything that may continue to churn in your mind so you can mentally rest
A few minutes of meditation or intentional breathing
A quick free write. Verbal vomit all the stress on the page
Gratitude Write down three things that you feel grateful for
If you have a bit more time and space…
Go for a walk - I remember hearing about an author who worked out of the garage in her backyard. To begin her day, she would walk around the block to go to work, when she was done, she walked around the block the other way to return home - she created a commute because she didn’t have one.
Play with your pet or take them on a walk – do this with intention. If it helps, set a timer for yourself where you let yourself just play and be present until it goes off.
Go Outside Simply going outside and standing for a few minutes can be restorative – the intentional shift, the paying attention to life outside of us. Listen for sounds. Breathe all the way to your belly and as you exhale, breathe out any tension or stress.
Workout Whatever your favorite workout, imagine putting space between yourself and the stressors of work as you move your body.
The best end of day ritual is one you can and will do regularly, so that the act of engaging it signals to your body and mind that it’s time to shift. If needed, start small and simple and add on. Even short transition rituals that are approached with intention can be incredibly helpful and powerful.
What have you found to be helpful in making the transition from work to home?
What helps you discharge stress so you can be present for those you love, or fully able to relax?
What other rituals do you recommend?
Photo by kyler trautner on Unsplash
