A few nights ago, my two-year-old hit one of those tired, exhausted places that all toddlers hit and dissolved into a fit of yelling and crying. She was over tired, over stimulated, needing sleep desperately yet fighting it with every bit of her. I tried all the things. Holding her, rocking and swaying, putting her down and staying close by while she kicked and yelled, trying to hold her, without success, again. I felt my exhaustion, felt myself fighting to stay grounded, and not mirror her emotions, trying internally to will her to calm, yet instead feeling myself wind up inside. Searching for any way to help her shift, I remembered her love of owls.
“Do you want to go and say good night to the owls?”
She paused the kicking and crying and, still breathing short, rapid breaths, looked up at me. Nodding, she reached up, arms outstretched.
I scooped her into my arms, wrapped her tightly in a blanket and walked her into the cool night air. Arms wrapped around my neck, her head nestled in, we stepped outside. I felt her relax. Only a few feet from the front door, we looked up at the night sky. I felt my feet on the ground, and breathed, letting it deepen, noticing how hers deepened in turn.
Forgetting her protest, she smiled, lifted her head and called out into the night, “Goodnight, owls!”
As we listened for them to reply she snuggled back in, her strong little body relaxing a bit more. I felt the cold on my skin, enjoyed the weight of her warmth. I breathed her in, held her tight and felt my body unwind
She rubbed her eyes and yawned, “it’s cold, Mama. I want to go in.”
I carried her inside and placed her in bed, stretching the blanket over her. Within a few minutes she was asleep.
I sat with her, reflecting. I had spent thirty minutes fighting to calm her while both of us became increasingly wound up, her externally, me internally. By stepping outside, feeling the night air, taking deep breaths, we became calm in about three minutes.
When I’m stressed it’s harder for me to lead, be creative, parent, to respond instead of react. Taking action to help my toddler served me too. Inviting her to say goodnight to the owls I invited myself to change my environment, breathe a bit deeper and be present, inviting calm. Sometimes small actions enable big shifts.
Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash
